Grandfather's Reminiscence (Original Work)

[badass_tiger]

Title: Grandfather's Reminiscence
Prompt: great-grandparents
Fandom: Original Work
Characters: Charles Cromwell, Gareth Sieghart, Alessandro Sieghart
Summary: Ethel said that Gareth was more like Ensio by the day, and it wasn't a compliment. Gareth asks his father and his (not-)grandfather what that means.

'I questioned Ethel for the investigation the other day,' Gareth said.

'Is that so? I imagine that made her happy. She loves it when anything happens,' Alessandro said with a hearty chuckle. He had once had to work closely with the vampire for an extended period of time, and although she was almost as good at keeping her emotions close as any bond magician, she couldn't hide her delight whenever something strange happened from him.

'I guess so. I went with my assistant and she suggested I get her to train under Charles.' That made Alessandro laugh again. 'She asked to send her regards, by the way.'

'To Charles? Why don't you tell him that yourself?'

'No thanks,' Gareth said with strained politeness. 'Ethel said I remind her more of Ensio every time she sees me.'

'In looks?'

'In aspect.'

Alessandro regarded him in silence for a few moments, a mild smile playing about his lips. He had never met Ensio himself, being only a toddler when the first head of the Sieghart family had passed away, but he knew all the stories. Romano would sometimes tell him about Ensio telepathically, so he could see his memories, and feel the emotions he had felt at the time. He couldn't have passed them on to Gareth, however. It would be like passing a photocopy of a photocopy, murky and unclear.

'She said not to take it as a compliment,' Gareth added when Alessandro remained silent.

'I think she's wrong anyway.'

'What would you know,' Gareth said with an eyeroll.

'Go and ask Charles then.'

'Actually, I'll pass.'

'Go and ask Charles, and give him Ethel's regards while you're there,' Alessandro said firmly. Even if his little boy was now a man of 30, he was still his son. Besides, what did Gareth imagine Charles could do to him?

-

Apart from the dining room where they all ate, there were only two places that Charles ever occupied in the house. One was his own room. It was not the room he had shared with Romano, which was now the room that Alessandro slept in with his wife. It used to be a small library (there was a larger one upstairs), which Charles had requested the use of when his knees made going up and down the stairs impossible. He wanted to stay on the ground floor so that he could have easy access to the garden, which was the other place Charles ever visited.

Gardening used to be one of his pastimes. When was the last time he had done it now? A long time ago, back when Romano was still alive, when Gareth was still a child. Gareth might not even remember anymore, how he used to pull up the weeds with Charles, and try to tease him by brandishing earthworms in his face. The memory made a small smile tug on the corner of his lips. Gareth had been a sweet child, even more so than Alessandro, whom he had helped to raise with Romano. He had grown into a different man now. Or perhaps not so different, really. He was so serious-minded, always worried about something, a man who felt that the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Which, in a way, it was.

Charles was surprised to see Gareth approaching him in the garden. He was sitting on the bench, taking in the mellow afternoon air, when Gareth said, 'Good afternoon. May I join you?'

In answer, Charles patted the seat next to him. Gareth sat down.

Silence stretched between them for a full minute.

Charles was not as accomplished a bond magician as the Siegharts. Everything he knew he had only picked up from his time with Romano. But he could see that Gareth was keeping himself open. This was usually done by bond magicians to prove their honesty, because they so habitually kept their emotions closed, that to open them to others as others were open to them was something they had to do deliberately. But what did Gareth have to be honest about? All Charles could see was that the longer they remained silent, the more uncomfortable Gareth became.

'How is your investigation going?' Charles said politely. This was hopefully a better conversation starter than 'What do you want?'

'It is going. Oh,' Gareth said as something occurred to him. 'Thank you for connecting me to Caroline Faulkner.'

'Was she useful?'

'Yes. She said to give you her regards.'

'I'm glad.'

'How did you know how to contact her?' Gareth turned to him. Charles could feel that although Gareth was still open, it was less deliberate. More honest, perhaps. 'She said it's been 20 years since she's seen you, and she was out of the country before that.'

'I just heard that she was around and asked for her contact number in case I should ever need it,' Charles said with a shrug.

'It seems my assistant was acquainted with her as well - quite closely acquainted. Caroline thought it almost too much of a coincidence.'

'Is that right? I remember you mentioning her name. Llywellyn. It sounds familiar.'

'Does it?' Gareth said in disbelief. Clearly, he couldn't handle the piling coincidences.

'Only in passing. I don't think I know the woman herself. Perhaps I've come across the name in my youth while I lived here.'

'Oh. Right. She's a strange woman.'

'It sounds like it, if she would take a bullet out of a strange man's shoulder without question.'

'Yes. I met Ethel too, before that, and she ... she said that I'm starting to resemble Ensio more ... in aspect.'

Charles laughed. The reaction took Gareth by surprise.

'She never knew Ensio that well,' Charles said. 'I can see why one might say that of the Siegharts, you're the one who resembles Ensio the most. But you're nothing like him.'

'In a good way?' Gareth said hopefully.

'I think so.' Charles was serious again, his gaze distant as he called old, old memories to the front of his mind. 'When I was a young man, just started my work at Ensio's office, he'd pick me to accompany him on business meetings as his assistant sometimes. He never had a permanent personal assistant, you see. He took pity on me because I was an orphan, and all I had was my job. I was very grateful to him. In my eyes, there was no one better than Ensio. Until I met Romano.'

A brief silence fell again, but this time, Gareth was rapt with attention. Charles could feel his curiosity.

'Romano was different back then,' Charles said. 'You know him as someone who was always kind, warm, and eager to spend time with his family. But when he was young, back when Ensio was still alive, he wasn't like that. He was serious, even more serious than you, and just like you, he was hiding his emotions away.'

'I - I'm not - not hiding anything -' Gareth spluttered indignantly. He pursed his lips together, forcing himself to fall silent and listen to the story. He looked just like a sulking boy.

'He tried to be a serious-minded person because that was what Ensio wanted him to be. Ensio wanted him to be like him. Romano loved flowers and animals, he loved to do anything his sisters were doing, and it was in his nature to be sweet and affectionate. His sisters used to call him Romeo for that. But Ensio didn't want him to be that way. When Ensio died, Romano wasn't ready. He was confused and he needed help, but he didn't want to let Ensio down, so he did his best to pretend that everything was fine. That was the reason Miss Rosacelsia left.'

Gareth knew about the journey Romano had gone on to find Miss Rosacelsia with Charles by his side. It had forged a bond between Romano and Miss Rosacelsia stronger than the relationship she had had with any other Sieghart. Gareth had never bothered hiding his jealousy of the fact, or of the tender way Miss Rosacelsia spoke to Charles.

'I'm happy to say that Romano overcame that, and allowed himself to become his own person, until he became the grandfather you knew. So you see that I don't think you're like Ensio at all. You're more like Romano, from when he was a young man.'

'You know, I'm starting to think that's not a good thing,' Gareth said.

'It's alright. Maybe it's just something that some Siegharts have to go through before they grow into themselves. Romano was like that when I met him, so I don't think it's a bad thing. He was even worse than you, really.'

'In what way?'

Charles raised an eyebrow. 'Do you really want to know?'

Gareth flushed. 'Um ... do I?'

'I don't want you to think badly of him. He -'

'I won't.' Gareth looked embarrassed again. 'Sorry to interrupt you. Nothing can change my mind about Romano. I know who he was when I knew him. He - He'll always be someone I admire ...'

Even this simple admission appeared to pain Gareth to admit. Charles smiled. He thought about rubbing his head affectionately, as he used to do when Gareth was a boy, but thought Gareth was unlikely to take it kindly.

'Good. When Romano lost his father, then Miss Rosacelsia so soon after, he was lost. The thing is that he had always depended on other people to guide him and show him what to do. When he became the family head so suddenly, he didn't know what to do, and he didn't have anyone to turn to. Do you understand? He couldn't trust himself.'

'I suppose I'm only proving your point by saying that I understand how he felt.'

'Maybe. Don't you feel lucky to still have Alessandro?' Charles said lightly.

There was a long, long pause before Gareth said 'Yes'. Charles smiled again. Gareth wasn't embarrassed to admit that he was grateful to have his parents still living. It was simply that habit of his of keeping his emotions so close to his chest.

'When Romano left his home to look for Miss Rosacelsia, he didn't have anyone to look to for guidance. So he turned to me. I would do anything he asked me, so he started to depend on me for everything. Don't think that I'm being arrogant by saying that I was everything to him at that time. I don't say it with pride, and I didn't want to be. I wanted Romano to become comfortable with who he was, and he couldn't do that by asking me to validate who he was.'

'Do you mean that he'd ask you to make his decisions for him? Or that he wouldn't do anything unless you told him it was a good idea?'

'That was part of it, yes. It was also that he had convinced himself that if he could have me, then he wouldn't need anything or anyone else.'

Charles was lost in his contemplations now, recalling the many months he had spent with Romano in hotel rooms and inn beds all around the world as they searched for Miss Rosacelsia.

'He was very insistent at times,' he said quietly. 'There came a point when I thought it would be cruel to reject him.'

'Wait ... what?' Gareth blushed deeply. 'You - you - you mean -'

For a moment, Charles said nothing. He was still deep in his thoughts, but he was enjoying Gareth's reaction.

'Yes,' Charles said eventually. 'I mean that he attempted to seduce me. Many times over.'

Gareth groaned and covered his eyes. 'So it turns out I don't want to know.'

'Too late,' Charles said mercilessly. 'Romano's desperation for someone to latch onto made him latch onto me, and desperate to make me belong to him. We were each the only company the other had for many months. I could only resist him for so long. But even when I gave in, I resisted him emotionally. Romano was quite ready to declare himself in love with me, but I thought he was being silly. I knew - or I thought I knew - that he would find himself uninterested in me once we had found Miss Rosacelsia, he could return to his old life, and find that I wasn't worth his time.'

'Excuse me? I thought you said Romano was the one with self-esteem issues?'

'Shut your face, young man,' Charles said, rolling his eyes.

'I should've realised this story was too one-sided to believe completely.'

'Say what you will.'

'But you're still here,' Gareth said seriously. 'Romano didn't get tired of you.'

'Evidently.' Charles looked away again, gathering his thoughts. 'When he was himself - when he was able to trust himself - and not depend on others to believe in himself - that was when Miss Rosacelsia appeared to him. He went home, and I thought that would be the end of it. I thought I'd return to my office job with a broken heart and hate everyone for the rest of my life.' Gareth laughed. 'But Romano wouldn't let me. Eventually, I was able to believe that he truly loved me, after I saw how much he had changed. When he became the person you know him as ... that's when I believed him.'

Gareth looked away with a frown. Now Charles could feel a slight unsteadiness in him, a tremor in his heart. Gareth had, as he said, admired Romano, and he was the one who had been holding Romano's hand when Romano passed away. Gareth, Charles realised with surprise, missed Romano too. It shouldn't have been a surprise. But after Romano's death, Alessandro and Matilde had continued on with their lives. Romano's youngest sister, still alive back then, had gone home to her children and grandchildren. Gareth went home to his government-issued apartment and returned to his work. Charles had felt as if he was the only one still thinking about Romano. Time had frozen for him when Romano died, and every morning he woke up feeling as if Romano had passed away only the previous day. But he should have realised that he was not the only one who missed him.

Alessandro's son was even more like Romano than he had thought. He felt everything so deeply.

'I never thought about it before,' Charles mused. 'My impression of Ensio changed after I met Romano. I almost forgot that Ensio was once the person who was everything to me. That I owed him my life. I don't hate Ensio for what he did to Romano. He loved Romano, and Romano was his favourite child. But when I came to know Romano, I understood Ensio better. I suppose that I once thought of Ensio as a hero, but after I met Romano, I started to think of him as a man.'

'I understand,' Gareth said. 'That's better anyway.'

'Yes.'

Charles let out a sigh and leaned back in his seat. It had been a long time since he had spoken of Romano with anyone. He had avoided it because he thought it would bring him pain. It was painful to think on it, but it was a relief too. It brought back some of the happiness he had felt back then.

How strange to think that he had forgotten some of the lessons he so desperately wanted to teach Romano in their youth, to not avoid their emotions, and to embrace them instead. He still had, Charles thought, so much to live for, after all. He was so proud of Alessandro, who was as good as his son. Now that Alessandro had retired, shouldn't he be enjoying the fact that he had more time than ever to spend with him? And here was Gareth, taking time out of his duties to speak to him, even though he normally found it difficult to speak to Charles.

'Did you come here to ask me about Ensio?' Charles said.

'Yes. When Ethel said I was like him to her, I thanked her, and she said it wasn't a compliment. I didn't understand what she meant.'

'Then I've taken up more of your time than you probably expected. I'm sorry.'

'No, I'm glad you told me this.' Gareth frowned, not at him, but at the thoughts swirling in his mind. 'Sometimes I feel like ... I don't know what I'm doing ... I'm just fumbling along blindly, hoping that I'm doing the right thing ... It's - it's kind of comforting to know that even Romano felt like that once. He always seemed so self-assured in my eyes. Whenever my father asked him for advice, he'd answer without thinking twice about it.'

'Well, I'm sure Alessandro ignored him as often as he took his advice on board,' Charles said, and Gareth chuckled. 'Thank you for listening to this old man's tales.'

'Thank you for telling me.' Gareth hesitated before he spoke again. 'I'm sorry that I don't listen more often.'

'It's alright. I know you're busy. But I'm not, so if you ever want to speak to me, I will listen.'

'Thank you,' Gareth said again.

Charles was shocked when Gareth hugged him. He couldn't remember the last time Gareth had hugged him, even when he was a boy. Charles returned the embrace and wished that Romano could see this. He would have undoubtedly flown at them, wrapped his arms around them and tried to squeeze the life out of them.

When they parted, Charles finally gave in to the urge to ruffle Gareth's hair. Gareth protested and said, 'You're lucky I don't have to go back to the office today.'

'Why, what would you have done to me?'

'I'll just leave that to your imagination.'

Charles laughed. Gareth asked if he wanted to come inside, but he refused, saying he wanted to enjoy the sun for a little longer.

'See you at dinner then,' Gareth said.

'See you.'

As Gareth left, a breeze blew through the garden. Charles closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of the wind running its fingers through his hair, and thought about inviting Alessandro and Matilde to tea at the Diamond Hotel the next day.