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badass_tiger) wrote2025-07-03 09:14 pm
badass_tiger) wrote2025-07-03 09:14 pm
Entry tags:
Words hard to say (Rune Factory: Guardians of Azuma)
Title: Words hard to say
Fandom: Rune Factory: Guardians of Azuma
Pairing:Valiant Herald of Rebellion Kai/Kaguya
Summary: For Kai, worry sets in slowly.
Notes: Contains major spoilers for the post-game
From the moment the children could walk and talk, they had displayed an independent streak that meant Kaguya didn't worry about letting them wander around the villages as they pleased. Besides, everyone knew the village chief's children and there was someone to keep an eye on them wherever they went. They did have to come home before dinnertime but a villager always reminded them if they forgot, or Woolby sent out to find them and bring them home.
Ever since Kaguya left for the Forest of Endings, however, Kai found Riku and Hana more attached to him than usual. He didn't notice it at first. When he stood up after breakfast, Hana jumped to her feet and said, 'Papa Kai! Where are you going today?'
'I'm working with Takumi in Spring Village today. Wanna help?'
He was joking, but to his surprise, Hana said, 'Yes! I can help.'
'I'd like to help too,' Riku said.
'Wait, really?' He looked at his children in bemusement. 'I don't know what you guys can help with. There's a lot of dangerous heavy stuff at Sakuraya.'
'We can help run errands, or man the front of shop,' Riku said seriously. There was a determined glint in his eye, much like the look on his mother's face whenever she was acting in her capacity as village chief. It was the look of someone who was only to be deterred at one's own risk.
'Well ... okay then. You've promised now so I'm not going to let you guys bail out if it gets boring.'
'If we go to Spring Village, we can have tea at Iroha's Teahouse,' Hana said brightly.
'Sure, if it's on your own dime.'
'Papa!'
'What? I've got bills to pay. Don't you guys have your allowance from Mama Kaguya? I'm not gonna help if you spent it all already.'
Kai was too busy wrapping up lunch for the three of them to notice the frown that settled on Hana's brow at his words.
Just as he predicted, the children's interest in assisting at Sakuraya didn't last long. Hana was enthusiastic about greeting customers until they didn't have any for an hour and she wandered off in the direction of the fragrance of tea wafting from Iroha's Teahouse. Riku ran after her on the pretext of bringing her back but never returned himself. Kai shrugged.
'Don't worry about it,' Takumi said cheerfully. 'It's good of you to bring them over so they don't miss their mama too much.'
'Uh ... huh? Yeah ...'
Kai rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and turned back to the pile of lumber that needed moving. It hadn't occurred to him that Riku and Hana's uncharacteristic request to follow him had been because they missed Kaguya. Of course, it made sense for kids to miss their mother, but ... well ... Kai had never won awards for being the sharpest tool in the shed. They had never seemed to miss her all that much when they were busy resisting curfew.
He went over to Iroha's Teahouse during lunch to find them dining on tea and dango together out under the sun.
'Hey, got any to spare for your old man?' he said by way of greeting.
'We earned this! We were helping,' Hana said earnestly.
'I thought you guys were going to help me and Takumi.'
'Yeah ... well ...'
Iroha was preparing tea inside and waved to him when she noticed him.
'Sorry about my kids. They said they were going to help us out at Sakuraya's but I lost track of them.'
'It's totally fine!' Iroha said, sounding a lot like Takumi. 'They kind of helped when they were calling out to customers with Suzu earlier. The three of them were so cute together that the villagers couldn't resist their cries!'
'How much do I owe you for what they've had?'
'Don't even think about it. I'm sure they're worried sick about Kaguya. The least I could do for her is let her kids have some snacks on the house. I'm sorry to say I'll have to charge you if you're ordering though, Kai.'
'What? That's not fair!'
He did order something, partly because he felt bad about Riku and Hana eating for free, but mostly because he was hungry. As he sat down on the bench next to his children though, he reflected uneasily on Takumi and Iroha's concern for them in the absence of their mother. They kind of made it sound like she was never coming back. Of course, she was going to a place so dangerous that not even they, the gods, felt able to traverse it; he had known that when he accepted her decision to go. But Kai realised that he had never before doubted her ability to come back; that he believed she would return sooner than later. Glancing down at his children, he wondered if they didn't share in his confidence.
Then again, as Riku scolded Hana for almost getting dango on her sleeve, they looked utterly carefree. Did his kids really worry about things like that?
-
Kai was floating on the edge between sleep and wakefulness when he suddenly felt a small body burrowing into the futon next to him, then sharp little horns poked his arm. Kaguya had been so excited on the day she noticed Hana's horns growing in. She had picked the girl up in her arms and raced to find Kai to tell him with a big proud grin on her face. Fortunate that Riku wasn't the jealous type. Besides, Riku was still an oni, horns or no.
'Ow,' he said as way of acknowledging Hana's presence.
'It's cold,' she muttered.
The nights did get chilly sometimes in Autumn Village, although Kai hadn't noticed it being any worse than usual, nor had Hana tried to sleep with either of her parents since the day she insisted on having her own futon.
'Okay, get over here then.' He held out his arm and let her nestle into his side. 'Mind your horns don't get me.'
'You mind your horns, Papa,' she giggled.
'You getting smart with me, kid?' He tickled her side, making her laugh all the more. 'Alright, settle down. I'm only letting you sleep with me this once, got it? You're a big girl now. What's Mama Kaguya going to say when she comes back if she finds you sleeping in my futon like you did when you were a baby?'
'So Mama Kaguya is coming back?' Hana said in a hopeful voice.
'Huh?!' Kai said so loudly that she winced and Riku, in the next futon, stirred and mumbled in his sleep. He hastily lowered his voice. 'Of course she is! Didn't she say that when she and Woolby were going?'
'No. I don't know. She looked sad.'
Kai frantically searched his memory for his conversation with Kaguya at her old village. Someone had told him not to bring the children with him but he had ignored them because of course the kids would want to say goodbye. Should he have left them behind after all? Had Kaguya really not said anything about coming back? It was a risk they had both known about beforehand but they hadn't discussed it because, well, he knew that she would. Hell, she had seen him in mortal danger more than he had seen her injured or worried about anything.
'Course she was sad to be leaving you for a long time, but a long time doesn't mean forever,' he mumbled.
Hana's little hand clutched his kimono, worries unassuaged. 'Did Mama go somewhere bad?'
'Kinda, but ... your mama's really strong, you know. Besides, she has Woolby with her. You've seen Woolby turn into a giant dragon, right? Bet you anything there's nothing that can stand in their way when they're together.' Not even the full might of Mihoshi Habaki and more had been able to, he added privately.
'I miss her.'
'I know, I know. I miss her too. She'll be back before you know it though. Besides, you've got me in the mean time. Or does your papa not count for anything when Mama Kaguya's not around?'
'You're pretty warm,' Hana acquiesced.
'Man, is being a portable bonfire all I'm good at?'
'Your onigiri is yummier than Mama's.'
'Fine, I'll take that. Now go to sleep, baby. Watarase wants me at like 6 am or some other ungodly hour tomorrow.'
'Okay. Goodnight, Papa Kai.'
Kai stroked her hair until he fell asleep himself, trying not to let her worries infect him.
-
Riku was a stoic 6-year-old, seldom giving voice to his worries for all he was such a hard thinker. Nothing like his papa in that respect, Kai thought. If Hana had picked up on Kaguya's emotions on the day she left, Riku most certainly had too, and was only hiding it better than she had. Kai found himself worrying about his son, annoyed that he wasn't smart enough to think of a tactful way to talk to him about it. He sat down on the shrine steps, his eyes on a setting sun he wasn't seeing for all the thoughts racing in his head, when he was startled by the object of his worries appearing next to him.
'Papa Kai, do you want me to make dinner tonight?' Riku said.
'What the hell? I'm a seriously useless dad if I can't even make dinner for my kids,' Kai said, climbing to his feet to head indoors. 'Damn, is it that late already?'
'It's okay, Papa. I can make something.'
'I'll let you help me if that makes you feel better,' Kai joked. He put an around Riku's shoulders to lead him inside but his hand seemed to settle a bit higher than he remembered from when he last hugged the kid. Is this what people meant when they said kids grew up too fast? It felt like just a few days ago when they had had Hana, and just a short while before that when Riku had been born. Of course, time didn't stretch that long for gods in the first place.
'Yeah, I want to help you.' Riku's voice was always so quiet that it was easy to miss in a crowd but seemed to be the case even in the expanse of the shrine which felt so empty in Kaguya's absence. 'I don't want to cause you trouble while Mama Kaguya isn't around.'
'Come on, you guys aren't any trouble.'
'Really? I felt bad when Hana was hiding in the Winter God Shrine and we couldn't find her before curfew. I'm her big brother so I feel like I should've been keeping an eye on her ...'
'You're a good big brother,' Kai said, squeezing the boy's shoulder. 'Mama Kaguya would be proud to see how reliable you are.'
Riku gave him a rare glowing smile. He always looked so much like Kaguya with that peaceful expression, seldom tending to exuberant displays of emotion, but whenever he did, Kai saw himself in his smile and his dancing purple eyes. Those eyes had taken Kai aback the first time he saw them. He still heard people speculate about what was behind his mask at times and he didn't understand why. All they had to do was look at his son to know.
'Thank you, Papa. I can't wait to prove myself to Mama Kaguya when she's back.'
Kai knew that Kaguya was coming back. Of course he did. He had spoken out of complete conviction when he told Hana that nothing could stand in front of Kaguya and Woolby. All the same, he somehow found himself assured by Riku's words. He could have laughed at himself for being comforted by a kid but he wasn't ashamed of the fact that his son was more level-headed than he was.
'You're damn right. I know she can't wait to come back and see either,' Kai said.
-
It wasn't that a few days was enough to make Kai worry about Kaguya's journey. It was that he was a bit of an idiot, and so, it took a few days for all the facts about Kaguya's expedition into the Forest of Endings to sink in.
He knew that there was nothing he could have said or done to make her change her mind. She was an Earth Dancer, Azuma's beacon of hope, and it was inevitable that when the land needed her, she would answer. All the same, he could have asked her to reconsider, if only to show her that he cared. He could have justified the fact that he didn't with the thought that he hadn't wanted to make it hard on her, but what the hell. They had been married this long. If he couldn't show her his true feelings after all this time, what was the point?
Of course, they hadn't been together all that long in the grand scheme of things. The current pantheon of Azuma's gods were the latest heirs of the position, but they had been around for several generations all the same. Kai and Kaguya had never discussed the inevitable fact that he would outlive her - except once, after she proposed to him, when she asked if he wouldn't regret his decision when she was no longer young and beautiful, and he would still be stuck with her. He had dismissed her with an airy 'You're the one stuck with me', and thought no more of it as she laughed.
Kaguya was coming back. He was sure of it. But what if - just what if - something happened to her in there, while he wasn't around to protect her? What if these short few years were all he had been destined to have with her, what were mere seconds to the life he had lived up until that point?
He tried to shake the thought away, but the one thing that remained was his regret that he hadn't asked her to stay. Even if nothing would have changed. Just to tell her that he would be thinking about her up until the exact moment that she was before him again.
The shrine doors slid open and Kai hastily rearranged his face as Hana walked in. He was still a father while Kaguya was gone and he couldn't show the kids a worried expression.
'Oh, Papa Kai! I came back to look for my fishing rod. Have you seen it?' Hana said.
She was startled when he came over to pick her up in his arms. 'It's out in the back with the other tools. Want your old man to teach you a few tricks while you're at it?'
'Sure thing. I bet I'm better than you, though.'
'You think? Let's see about that.'
He held his daughter close, even as she further weighed him down with two fishing poles, and went out to be with her.
-
The shift in runes was so subtle that it was completely unnoticeable to any but Azuma's most magically sensitive individuals, but even to Kai, who felt it acutely, he didn't understand what it meant right away. He wondered if it had anything to do with Kaguya and suddenly felt uneasy.
Why had they let her go there alone? Sure she was Azuma's Earth Dancer, but all the time that she had been on her mission to restore the land's runes, the gods had been by her side every step of the way. The reason they had let her go alone this time was that it was dangerous; they couldn't afford to lose both the Earth Dancer and Azuma's gods in one go - but didn't that just mean they had sent her because she was expendable?
No, of course not. The shift in runes was just driving him crazy. In normal circumstances, he would go out for a drink to force the thoughts to back of his mind - but then again, he hadn't done that in a while. He needed to cook dinner and keep an eye on the kids once they were back, besides.
Kai didn't go out as often as he used to ever since he married Kaguya. Things just weren't as fun without her around. Sometimes Kaguya asked someone to watch Riku and Hana for the evening and they would go out together, which was ten times more fun than drinking alone had ever been in the past.
That was just one of the many reasons he needed her back.
Something called him back to the Dragon Shrine in the afternoon, or maybe he just felt the need for a lie-down to cool his head. Or maybe it was the fresh rippling of runes throughout the land that told him that what he needed would be there. Whatever it was, Kai arrived at the shrine just as Kaguya dropped off Woolby's back onto the grass.
'Kai! I'm home.'
Kaguya's shining smile was exactly as he remembered it. Of course it was. It had only been a week, if that. But Kai could only stare at her dumbfounded, as if she was an apparition, or something he had never seen her before. She walked up to him and his brain cells started knocking together again.
'Ah ... hey, Kaguya. Welcome home.'
'It's good to be home,' she said.
The rest of his brain caught up and Kai gathered her into his arms so tightly that she squeaked.
'You're back,' he said in a low voice.
'Yes. I missed you too, Kai.'
It was such a relief to hear the laugh in her voice, to hold her in his arms, that he felt like a punctured balloon as the tension left his body. As he released her, he took his mask off to wipe away the wetness on his face. Kaguya really did let out a startled laugh then.
'Are you crying?' she said.
'No. Maybe.' He laughed too, shakily. 'Damn it. You don't know how worried I was about you!'
'Wait, really? You were so calm when I left. Were you just being brave?'
'I was being a dumbass, more like. It didn't hit me, what you were doing, until you were gone. And - and the kids ... they've been thinking about you too.'
Kaguya took hold of his wrist, stopping him from putting his mask back on. Her gentle countenance filled his vision as she reached up on her toes to kiss him. For once, Kai acted fast, embracing her again as he kissed her back.
'Don't leave me again. I'm a mess without you,' Kai said. 'Almost forgot to feed the kids and everything.'
As he spoke, he remembered that, inevitably, she would leave him someday, even if it was against both their wishes. It should have been enough that she was standing here right now but his blood ran cold and fear gripped him. He was rubbish at voicing his honest feelings but if it was for Kaguya, for his Earth Dancer, who had restored his divinity and his sovereignty, and become his family and his better half to boot, couldn't he give it a go?
'Look - sorry, what were you saying?' he said as Kaguya began to speak.
'You go first.'
'Okay, right. I -' Damn it, but it was hard. He hardly even knew what he was trying to say himself. 'I haven't forgotten, right? Everything you've done for me. I know it's the same for the others and you were just doing your job as Earth Dancer, but you chose me in the end, and I - I'm always going to owe that to you.' A faint frown wrinkled Kaguya's brow but he was used to receiving that look from her and ploughed on. 'All I'm saying is, I know this isn't forever, and I hate that. The thought of being without you someday scares the hell out of me. I realised that when you were gone. So - stay with me, Kaguya. I need you.'
'Kai ...' Kaguya smiled though her eyes shone with tears. Great, now they were both crying. 'I'm so glad you didn't say that before I went or I wouldn't have gone.'
'I might've said it earlier if I'd known that. But you're back now, so ... is that good news? What happened?'
'That's what I wanted to tell you.' She squeezed him again. 'We arrived at the depths of the Forest of Endings and met with Mihoshi Habaki. They had a proposal for me. It seems like the shards they scattered around Azuma ... my journey through the Forest ... was like a test. They asked if I would accept becoming a god.'
'What? Wait ...' Kai peered at her as if seeing her for the first time. The shift in runes, the power he could sense permeating from her ... he hadn't noticed because he had been so relieved just to see her. 'No way. You ...?'
'Yes, way.' Kaguya stepped back, placed her hand on her hip, and held out the other in a pose. He was clearly rubbing off on her. 'Say hello to the Heavenly Sovereign of Azuma. You're my minion now, Kai!'
He lunged forward, seizing her in his arms again, then squeezed her hard - even harder than usual now that he knew she could take it.
'Damn it, Kaguya, why didn't you start with that?!' he demanded.
'And miss your beautiful speech about how you want us to be together forever?'
'Hah! Well, I don't regret a word I said.' He pulled back to look into her eyes. 'So you're head honcho now, huh? Guess we'll be working together more than ever from now on. Definitely not complaining about that.'
'Oh yeah? Will you help me find my way around godhood? You've been doing this a lot longer than I have after all.'
'You bet! You'll be learning from the best.'
Kaguya laughed. Kai basked in the light of her expression for a few moments before he spoke again.
'Well? I'm waiting for your answer here.'
'My answer?'
'Will you stay with me ... now that you're a god ... forever?'
'Of course! Kai ...' Kaguya's smile turned so gentle, so ... adoring, that Kai felt his heartbeat pick up pace in a familiar way, the way it always did when she gave him that look, even after all this time. 'If you weren't a god, I would have said no. Do you understand what I mean?'
'Um ...'
'You're the reason I said yes, Kai! Because I never want to leave you. I want to be with you ... always.'
'Good.' There it was, one of his trademark inadequate answers. 'I mean, hell yes! Forever!' The rest of her words registered in her brain. 'Wait, so if I wasn't a god, you would have said no?'
'That's right. I know we never talked about it before. I thought you didn't want to and I kind of agreed that there was no point in being sad about the fact that to you, our time together as god and human would be just a blip in your life. It was more important that we enjoy our time together. But given the chance to change that, I would take it every time. And I hoped you would feel the same way.'
'You hoped? If I didn't want you by my side until the day the skies explode, I wouldn't have married you in the first place.'
'Exactly!'
Happiness sunk into Kai's body, into his very bones, making him grin. He had never imagined this conclusion before, and it even if it had occurred to him, he might not have dared to. He could have shouted for joy, and was in fact, pretty ready to.
'Alright! This calls for a celebration,' he said. 'What do you say? The eighth meeting of the gods or whatever it is now?'
'We do need to tell everyone, but ...' Kaguya smiled at him. 'We can do that tomorrow. How about we just have dinner as a family tonight? I've missed you guys, after all.'
'Hey, not a bad idea. I get to keep you to myself a little longer.'
'Forgotten about the kids again already?'
'Oh yeah. Them. I don't mind sharing you with those guys.'
'Good. Should we get some food cooking for when they come back?'
Kai took her hand and the two gods of Azuma walked into the shrine they called their home to prepare dinner for their children.
Fandom: Rune Factory: Guardians of Azuma
Pairing:
Summary: For Kai, worry sets in slowly.
Notes: Contains major spoilers for the post-game
From the moment the children could walk and talk, they had displayed an independent streak that meant Kaguya didn't worry about letting them wander around the villages as they pleased. Besides, everyone knew the village chief's children and there was someone to keep an eye on them wherever they went. They did have to come home before dinnertime but a villager always reminded them if they forgot, or Woolby sent out to find them and bring them home.
Ever since Kaguya left for the Forest of Endings, however, Kai found Riku and Hana more attached to him than usual. He didn't notice it at first. When he stood up after breakfast, Hana jumped to her feet and said, 'Papa Kai! Where are you going today?'
'I'm working with Takumi in Spring Village today. Wanna help?'
He was joking, but to his surprise, Hana said, 'Yes! I can help.'
'I'd like to help too,' Riku said.
'Wait, really?' He looked at his children in bemusement. 'I don't know what you guys can help with. There's a lot of dangerous heavy stuff at Sakuraya.'
'We can help run errands, or man the front of shop,' Riku said seriously. There was a determined glint in his eye, much like the look on his mother's face whenever she was acting in her capacity as village chief. It was the look of someone who was only to be deterred at one's own risk.
'Well ... okay then. You've promised now so I'm not going to let you guys bail out if it gets boring.'
'If we go to Spring Village, we can have tea at Iroha's Teahouse,' Hana said brightly.
'Sure, if it's on your own dime.'
'Papa!'
'What? I've got bills to pay. Don't you guys have your allowance from Mama Kaguya? I'm not gonna help if you spent it all already.'
Kai was too busy wrapping up lunch for the three of them to notice the frown that settled on Hana's brow at his words.
Just as he predicted, the children's interest in assisting at Sakuraya didn't last long. Hana was enthusiastic about greeting customers until they didn't have any for an hour and she wandered off in the direction of the fragrance of tea wafting from Iroha's Teahouse. Riku ran after her on the pretext of bringing her back but never returned himself. Kai shrugged.
'Don't worry about it,' Takumi said cheerfully. 'It's good of you to bring them over so they don't miss their mama too much.'
'Uh ... huh? Yeah ...'
Kai rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and turned back to the pile of lumber that needed moving. It hadn't occurred to him that Riku and Hana's uncharacteristic request to follow him had been because they missed Kaguya. Of course, it made sense for kids to miss their mother, but ... well ... Kai had never won awards for being the sharpest tool in the shed. They had never seemed to miss her all that much when they were busy resisting curfew.
He went over to Iroha's Teahouse during lunch to find them dining on tea and dango together out under the sun.
'Hey, got any to spare for your old man?' he said by way of greeting.
'We earned this! We were helping,' Hana said earnestly.
'I thought you guys were going to help me and Takumi.'
'Yeah ... well ...'
Iroha was preparing tea inside and waved to him when she noticed him.
'Sorry about my kids. They said they were going to help us out at Sakuraya's but I lost track of them.'
'It's totally fine!' Iroha said, sounding a lot like Takumi. 'They kind of helped when they were calling out to customers with Suzu earlier. The three of them were so cute together that the villagers couldn't resist their cries!'
'How much do I owe you for what they've had?'
'Don't even think about it. I'm sure they're worried sick about Kaguya. The least I could do for her is let her kids have some snacks on the house. I'm sorry to say I'll have to charge you if you're ordering though, Kai.'
'What? That's not fair!'
He did order something, partly because he felt bad about Riku and Hana eating for free, but mostly because he was hungry. As he sat down on the bench next to his children though, he reflected uneasily on Takumi and Iroha's concern for them in the absence of their mother. They kind of made it sound like she was never coming back. Of course, she was going to a place so dangerous that not even they, the gods, felt able to traverse it; he had known that when he accepted her decision to go. But Kai realised that he had never before doubted her ability to come back; that he believed she would return sooner than later. Glancing down at his children, he wondered if they didn't share in his confidence.
Then again, as Riku scolded Hana for almost getting dango on her sleeve, they looked utterly carefree. Did his kids really worry about things like that?
-
Kai was floating on the edge between sleep and wakefulness when he suddenly felt a small body burrowing into the futon next to him, then sharp little horns poked his arm. Kaguya had been so excited on the day she noticed Hana's horns growing in. She had picked the girl up in her arms and raced to find Kai to tell him with a big proud grin on her face. Fortunate that Riku wasn't the jealous type. Besides, Riku was still an oni, horns or no.
'Ow,' he said as way of acknowledging Hana's presence.
'It's cold,' she muttered.
The nights did get chilly sometimes in Autumn Village, although Kai hadn't noticed it being any worse than usual, nor had Hana tried to sleep with either of her parents since the day she insisted on having her own futon.
'Okay, get over here then.' He held out his arm and let her nestle into his side. 'Mind your horns don't get me.'
'You mind your horns, Papa,' she giggled.
'You getting smart with me, kid?' He tickled her side, making her laugh all the more. 'Alright, settle down. I'm only letting you sleep with me this once, got it? You're a big girl now. What's Mama Kaguya going to say when she comes back if she finds you sleeping in my futon like you did when you were a baby?'
'So Mama Kaguya is coming back?' Hana said in a hopeful voice.
'Huh?!' Kai said so loudly that she winced and Riku, in the next futon, stirred and mumbled in his sleep. He hastily lowered his voice. 'Of course she is! Didn't she say that when she and Woolby were going?'
'No. I don't know. She looked sad.'
Kai frantically searched his memory for his conversation with Kaguya at her old village. Someone had told him not to bring the children with him but he had ignored them because of course the kids would want to say goodbye. Should he have left them behind after all? Had Kaguya really not said anything about coming back? It was a risk they had both known about beforehand but they hadn't discussed it because, well, he knew that she would. Hell, she had seen him in mortal danger more than he had seen her injured or worried about anything.
'Course she was sad to be leaving you for a long time, but a long time doesn't mean forever,' he mumbled.
Hana's little hand clutched his kimono, worries unassuaged. 'Did Mama go somewhere bad?'
'Kinda, but ... your mama's really strong, you know. Besides, she has Woolby with her. You've seen Woolby turn into a giant dragon, right? Bet you anything there's nothing that can stand in their way when they're together.' Not even the full might of Mihoshi Habaki and more had been able to, he added privately.
'I miss her.'
'I know, I know. I miss her too. She'll be back before you know it though. Besides, you've got me in the mean time. Or does your papa not count for anything when Mama Kaguya's not around?'
'You're pretty warm,' Hana acquiesced.
'Man, is being a portable bonfire all I'm good at?'
'Your onigiri is yummier than Mama's.'
'Fine, I'll take that. Now go to sleep, baby. Watarase wants me at like 6 am or some other ungodly hour tomorrow.'
'Okay. Goodnight, Papa Kai.'
Kai stroked her hair until he fell asleep himself, trying not to let her worries infect him.
-
Riku was a stoic 6-year-old, seldom giving voice to his worries for all he was such a hard thinker. Nothing like his papa in that respect, Kai thought. If Hana had picked up on Kaguya's emotions on the day she left, Riku most certainly had too, and was only hiding it better than she had. Kai found himself worrying about his son, annoyed that he wasn't smart enough to think of a tactful way to talk to him about it. He sat down on the shrine steps, his eyes on a setting sun he wasn't seeing for all the thoughts racing in his head, when he was startled by the object of his worries appearing next to him.
'Papa Kai, do you want me to make dinner tonight?' Riku said.
'What the hell? I'm a seriously useless dad if I can't even make dinner for my kids,' Kai said, climbing to his feet to head indoors. 'Damn, is it that late already?'
'It's okay, Papa. I can make something.'
'I'll let you help me if that makes you feel better,' Kai joked. He put an around Riku's shoulders to lead him inside but his hand seemed to settle a bit higher than he remembered from when he last hugged the kid. Is this what people meant when they said kids grew up too fast? It felt like just a few days ago when they had had Hana, and just a short while before that when Riku had been born. Of course, time didn't stretch that long for gods in the first place.
'Yeah, I want to help you.' Riku's voice was always so quiet that it was easy to miss in a crowd but seemed to be the case even in the expanse of the shrine which felt so empty in Kaguya's absence. 'I don't want to cause you trouble while Mama Kaguya isn't around.'
'Come on, you guys aren't any trouble.'
'Really? I felt bad when Hana was hiding in the Winter God Shrine and we couldn't find her before curfew. I'm her big brother so I feel like I should've been keeping an eye on her ...'
'You're a good big brother,' Kai said, squeezing the boy's shoulder. 'Mama Kaguya would be proud to see how reliable you are.'
Riku gave him a rare glowing smile. He always looked so much like Kaguya with that peaceful expression, seldom tending to exuberant displays of emotion, but whenever he did, Kai saw himself in his smile and his dancing purple eyes. Those eyes had taken Kai aback the first time he saw them. He still heard people speculate about what was behind his mask at times and he didn't understand why. All they had to do was look at his son to know.
'Thank you, Papa. I can't wait to prove myself to Mama Kaguya when she's back.'
Kai knew that Kaguya was coming back. Of course he did. He had spoken out of complete conviction when he told Hana that nothing could stand in front of Kaguya and Woolby. All the same, he somehow found himself assured by Riku's words. He could have laughed at himself for being comforted by a kid but he wasn't ashamed of the fact that his son was more level-headed than he was.
'You're damn right. I know she can't wait to come back and see either,' Kai said.
-
It wasn't that a few days was enough to make Kai worry about Kaguya's journey. It was that he was a bit of an idiot, and so, it took a few days for all the facts about Kaguya's expedition into the Forest of Endings to sink in.
He knew that there was nothing he could have said or done to make her change her mind. She was an Earth Dancer, Azuma's beacon of hope, and it was inevitable that when the land needed her, she would answer. All the same, he could have asked her to reconsider, if only to show her that he cared. He could have justified the fact that he didn't with the thought that he hadn't wanted to make it hard on her, but what the hell. They had been married this long. If he couldn't show her his true feelings after all this time, what was the point?
Of course, they hadn't been together all that long in the grand scheme of things. The current pantheon of Azuma's gods were the latest heirs of the position, but they had been around for several generations all the same. Kai and Kaguya had never discussed the inevitable fact that he would outlive her - except once, after she proposed to him, when she asked if he wouldn't regret his decision when she was no longer young and beautiful, and he would still be stuck with her. He had dismissed her with an airy 'You're the one stuck with me', and thought no more of it as she laughed.
Kaguya was coming back. He was sure of it. But what if - just what if - something happened to her in there, while he wasn't around to protect her? What if these short few years were all he had been destined to have with her, what were mere seconds to the life he had lived up until that point?
He tried to shake the thought away, but the one thing that remained was his regret that he hadn't asked her to stay. Even if nothing would have changed. Just to tell her that he would be thinking about her up until the exact moment that she was before him again.
The shrine doors slid open and Kai hastily rearranged his face as Hana walked in. He was still a father while Kaguya was gone and he couldn't show the kids a worried expression.
'Oh, Papa Kai! I came back to look for my fishing rod. Have you seen it?' Hana said.
She was startled when he came over to pick her up in his arms. 'It's out in the back with the other tools. Want your old man to teach you a few tricks while you're at it?'
'Sure thing. I bet I'm better than you, though.'
'You think? Let's see about that.'
He held his daughter close, even as she further weighed him down with two fishing poles, and went out to be with her.
-
The shift in runes was so subtle that it was completely unnoticeable to any but Azuma's most magically sensitive individuals, but even to Kai, who felt it acutely, he didn't understand what it meant right away. He wondered if it had anything to do with Kaguya and suddenly felt uneasy.
Why had they let her go there alone? Sure she was Azuma's Earth Dancer, but all the time that she had been on her mission to restore the land's runes, the gods had been by her side every step of the way. The reason they had let her go alone this time was that it was dangerous; they couldn't afford to lose both the Earth Dancer and Azuma's gods in one go - but didn't that just mean they had sent her because she was expendable?
No, of course not. The shift in runes was just driving him crazy. In normal circumstances, he would go out for a drink to force the thoughts to back of his mind - but then again, he hadn't done that in a while. He needed to cook dinner and keep an eye on the kids once they were back, besides.
Kai didn't go out as often as he used to ever since he married Kaguya. Things just weren't as fun without her around. Sometimes Kaguya asked someone to watch Riku and Hana for the evening and they would go out together, which was ten times more fun than drinking alone had ever been in the past.
That was just one of the many reasons he needed her back.
Something called him back to the Dragon Shrine in the afternoon, or maybe he just felt the need for a lie-down to cool his head. Or maybe it was the fresh rippling of runes throughout the land that told him that what he needed would be there. Whatever it was, Kai arrived at the shrine just as Kaguya dropped off Woolby's back onto the grass.
'Kai! I'm home.'
Kaguya's shining smile was exactly as he remembered it. Of course it was. It had only been a week, if that. But Kai could only stare at her dumbfounded, as if she was an apparition, or something he had never seen her before. She walked up to him and his brain cells started knocking together again.
'Ah ... hey, Kaguya. Welcome home.'
'It's good to be home,' she said.
The rest of his brain caught up and Kai gathered her into his arms so tightly that she squeaked.
'You're back,' he said in a low voice.
'Yes. I missed you too, Kai.'
It was such a relief to hear the laugh in her voice, to hold her in his arms, that he felt like a punctured balloon as the tension left his body. As he released her, he took his mask off to wipe away the wetness on his face. Kaguya really did let out a startled laugh then.
'Are you crying?' she said.
'No. Maybe.' He laughed too, shakily. 'Damn it. You don't know how worried I was about you!'
'Wait, really? You were so calm when I left. Were you just being brave?'
'I was being a dumbass, more like. It didn't hit me, what you were doing, until you were gone. And - and the kids ... they've been thinking about you too.'
Kaguya took hold of his wrist, stopping him from putting his mask back on. Her gentle countenance filled his vision as she reached up on her toes to kiss him. For once, Kai acted fast, embracing her again as he kissed her back.
'Don't leave me again. I'm a mess without you,' Kai said. 'Almost forgot to feed the kids and everything.'
As he spoke, he remembered that, inevitably, she would leave him someday, even if it was against both their wishes. It should have been enough that she was standing here right now but his blood ran cold and fear gripped him. He was rubbish at voicing his honest feelings but if it was for Kaguya, for his Earth Dancer, who had restored his divinity and his sovereignty, and become his family and his better half to boot, couldn't he give it a go?
'Look - sorry, what were you saying?' he said as Kaguya began to speak.
'You go first.'
'Okay, right. I -' Damn it, but it was hard. He hardly even knew what he was trying to say himself. 'I haven't forgotten, right? Everything you've done for me. I know it's the same for the others and you were just doing your job as Earth Dancer, but you chose me in the end, and I - I'm always going to owe that to you.' A faint frown wrinkled Kaguya's brow but he was used to receiving that look from her and ploughed on. 'All I'm saying is, I know this isn't forever, and I hate that. The thought of being without you someday scares the hell out of me. I realised that when you were gone. So - stay with me, Kaguya. I need you.'
'Kai ...' Kaguya smiled though her eyes shone with tears. Great, now they were both crying. 'I'm so glad you didn't say that before I went or I wouldn't have gone.'
'I might've said it earlier if I'd known that. But you're back now, so ... is that good news? What happened?'
'That's what I wanted to tell you.' She squeezed him again. 'We arrived at the depths of the Forest of Endings and met with Mihoshi Habaki. They had a proposal for me. It seems like the shards they scattered around Azuma ... my journey through the Forest ... was like a test. They asked if I would accept becoming a god.'
'What? Wait ...' Kai peered at her as if seeing her for the first time. The shift in runes, the power he could sense permeating from her ... he hadn't noticed because he had been so relieved just to see her. 'No way. You ...?'
'Yes, way.' Kaguya stepped back, placed her hand on her hip, and held out the other in a pose. He was clearly rubbing off on her. 'Say hello to the Heavenly Sovereign of Azuma. You're my minion now, Kai!'
He lunged forward, seizing her in his arms again, then squeezed her hard - even harder than usual now that he knew she could take it.
'Damn it, Kaguya, why didn't you start with that?!' he demanded.
'And miss your beautiful speech about how you want us to be together forever?'
'Hah! Well, I don't regret a word I said.' He pulled back to look into her eyes. 'So you're head honcho now, huh? Guess we'll be working together more than ever from now on. Definitely not complaining about that.'
'Oh yeah? Will you help me find my way around godhood? You've been doing this a lot longer than I have after all.'
'You bet! You'll be learning from the best.'
Kaguya laughed. Kai basked in the light of her expression for a few moments before he spoke again.
'Well? I'm waiting for your answer here.'
'My answer?'
'Will you stay with me ... now that you're a god ... forever?'
'Of course! Kai ...' Kaguya's smile turned so gentle, so ... adoring, that Kai felt his heartbeat pick up pace in a familiar way, the way it always did when she gave him that look, even after all this time. 'If you weren't a god, I would have said no. Do you understand what I mean?'
'Um ...'
'You're the reason I said yes, Kai! Because I never want to leave you. I want to be with you ... always.'
'Good.' There it was, one of his trademark inadequate answers. 'I mean, hell yes! Forever!' The rest of her words registered in her brain. 'Wait, so if I wasn't a god, you would have said no?'
'That's right. I know we never talked about it before. I thought you didn't want to and I kind of agreed that there was no point in being sad about the fact that to you, our time together as god and human would be just a blip in your life. It was more important that we enjoy our time together. But given the chance to change that, I would take it every time. And I hoped you would feel the same way.'
'You hoped? If I didn't want you by my side until the day the skies explode, I wouldn't have married you in the first place.'
'Exactly!'
Happiness sunk into Kai's body, into his very bones, making him grin. He had never imagined this conclusion before, and it even if it had occurred to him, he might not have dared to. He could have shouted for joy, and was in fact, pretty ready to.
'Alright! This calls for a celebration,' he said. 'What do you say? The eighth meeting of the gods or whatever it is now?'
'We do need to tell everyone, but ...' Kaguya smiled at him. 'We can do that tomorrow. How about we just have dinner as a family tonight? I've missed you guys, after all.'
'Hey, not a bad idea. I get to keep you to myself a little longer.'
'Forgotten about the kids again already?'
'Oh yeah. Them. I don't mind sharing you with those guys.'
'Good. Should we get some food cooking for when they come back?'
Kai took her hand and the two gods of Azuma walked into the shrine they called their home to prepare dinner for their children.