9. smiles and looks

[badass_tiger]

Comm: fallintofallfestival
Prompt: Any Fandom / Any Pairing / “It’s like you never really see me. I’m standing right in front of you and you don’t see me!”
Word Count: 2k
Author/Team: badass_tiger
Title: smiles and looks
Fandom/Original: Original: Master, Prisoner
Rating: Mature
Triggers: Discussions of non-sexual(-ish) non-consent.
Summary: Marcellus invites Leonard over for a drink, just like the old days. Unlike the old days, a confession comes out.
ConCrit: Y

Notes: I wasn't able to sneak as much exposition in this one as the last. Marcellus is the name of the king who lead the rebellion and overthrew the previous king. In his past life, he was a minor noble.

In the old days, when Leonard was only a servant and Marcellus little better, they drank together often. At first, it was as companions, but eventually, their meetings took on a more solemn and secretive nature as they used them to discuss their plans for the future of Isherslond. It had been a long time indeed since they had drank together as friends, with nothing more than the business of the day on their minds.

Marcellus didn't say any of this as he poured for them both. Leonard had a tendency these days to start waxing nostalgic about the days he had been personal secretary to Lord Desroches. Marcellus was sure that Leonard didn't miss those days, that he was as proud of the kingdom they had built together as he was, but perhaps he missed the relationship he had had with his former master. As much as possible, Marcellus wanted to keep the man off Leonard's mind.

'Well, my friend, how was your trip?' Marcellus said, sitting back.

'I've already told you,' Leonard replied with a raised eyebrow.

'Indeed, you told me the formal report in court, but what of yourself? Did you enjoy it? Make any new friends?'

'Oh, thoroughly, and as many as possible. All for my king.'

As always, Marcellus felt a thrill go through at him at the teasing. Was it flirtation? It was impossible to tell. Certainly Leonard spoke to no one else like this, to his knowledge at least.

'Speak seriously,' Marcellus said with mock sternness. 'Tell me you flourish in your new position as my ambassador.'

'I hope I did. Astor helped me a great deal with his knowledge of the country and his experience in government matters.'

A dark shadow crossed Marcellus' face at the mention of Lord Desroches. Leonard had never hidden the fact that he had asked to make Desroches his slave-pet in order to give him another chance at life in the new regime. Desroches was too dangerous to keep alive, and his rebellious nature under Leonard's hand only proved the point. But as a slave-pet, he was bound to Leonard's every command, and couldn't directly hurt him. Marcellus had accepted the explanation, and even if he had ever thought back then that Leonard was attracted to Desroches, it would have given him no pain. It was different now. Marcellus bristled at every mention Leonard made of Desroches. At the dinner where he had asked his courtiers to bring their companions, he had easily joked about the attention Leonard paid Desroches, but every jesting word of jealousy that he spoke was true in his heart.

'You listened to his advice on political affairs?'

'Yes. You know he is well-suited to do so.'

'In experience, yes, but in interests, no.'

Leonard gave him an inquisitive look. 'Do you think that he will give me false information in order to sabotage you?'

'It is a possibility.'

'An unlikely one. I know him, Marcellus. Not once in my time with him has he been able to deceive me. He is as transparent as a child to me.'

Very much like a child, Marcellus thought, thinking of Desroches' petulant looks and sullen attitude during the dinner party. Again, he let the matter slide. He didn't want to think of Desroches now.

'I believe you. However, you cannot deflect all of the credit. You must have acted very well to make them accept me, and send you back with almost as many gifts as I sent you with. Including that wonderful business treaty! They would never have given that to my predecessor.'

'In which case, you can take the credit. Word of you reached them, of course, and they were much impressed with you.'

'It isn't difficult to impress after the carnage the previous king left behind,' Marcellus sighed. 'But as you are the one praising me, I will gladly accept it.'

'Very good. I will thank you, too, for your thoughtfulness in sending me. Being with Astor away from the palace, I was able to repair my relationship with him just a little.'

Again, they were back on the topic of Desroches, and Marcellus' heart sank.

'I didn't send you there for that reason.'

'I know. I only mean to thank you.'

'Is he really that important to you?' Marcellus couldn't stop himself from saying.

'Of course he is,' Leonard said with surprise. 'I owe him everything.'

'No, you don't. He held you down and held you back, made you believe that your intellect is good for nothing more than assisting him. What could you possibly owe him?'

Leonard smiled, but it was somewhat uncertain, as if he wasn't sure why Marcellus was speaking so harshly to him. 'He was my friend of my whole adult life. When I had nothing, he gave me a position, and he trusted in me. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have met you.'

'Of course. Of course. I only -' Marcellus felt slightly ashamed of his outburst. He had no right to question why Leonard so treasured Desroches. But more words he would have better reined in continued to slip out. 'You always speak of him. All the time, you are thinking of him. And you don't see me. I am here before you, and you do not see me.'

'What are you saying, Marcellus?' Leonard shifted his chair closer and put a hand on his arm. His touch was like an oasis, and Marcellus' head cooled. 'I betrayed him for you. Don't say that as if you think you mean nothing to me.'

'Indeed. No.' Marcellus covered Leonard's hand with his own and squeezed it. 'It's just - well - you speak as if you still belong to him.' With a pang, Marcellus remembered that he had said the exact same thing to Leonard only two months ago, and Leonard's answer had been 'I do'.

At least he said no such thing now.

'He is very dear to me, and can never be anything less,' Leonard said. 'But my feelings for him have nothing to do with you. I love you no less for loving him.'

There it was, then. They had reached the crux of the matter. Feeling as if the words were like acid burning through his tongue, Marcellus said, 'Are you in love with him?'

'I wonder.' Leonard began to laugh, but Marcellus gripped his hand with urgency.

'Please, Leonard. Tell me seriously.'

Leonard looked at him, startled. 'Why?'

'You have to ask?' Marcellus said with a bitter smile.

'Yes. I'm afraid for all the intelligence you attribute to me, I am still a simpleton.'

Marcellus had never even acknowledged it to himself, yet the words rose to his lips as naturally as if he had always known. 'I am in love with you.'

It was with dismay that he allowed Leonard's hand to slip out of his grasp. There was no trace of light-hearted teasing in Leonard's eyes now, and Marcellus regretted his words. Leonard must be in love with Desroches after all. Would their relationship ever be the same now? Never mind their friendship, but what of their working relationship?

'Since when?' Leonard asked. His tone was completely even, but compared to the easy way Leonard had always spoken to him, it was almost cold to Marcellus' ears.

'I hardly know. Perhaps the last 6 months I have been king.'

'I always thought you were joking about being jealous of Astor,' Leonard said quietly.

'I was, at first - or perhaps I was trying to pretend to myself that I didn't feel as much as I did.'

They were silent for a moment. Leonard placed his clasped hands on the table, then took in a breath.

'I don't know if I am in love with Astor, Marcellus. That is the only answer I can give you.'

Marcellus closed his eyes and held back a sigh. But there was a seed of hope in his heart. He opened his eyes and said, 'I understand you when you say you owe him. However, the way he treats you now ... you tend to him with more courtesy now than you did when you were his servant, yet he only rebuffs you. I am sure he tries to be cruel to you.'

A small smile appeared at the corner of Leonard's mouth - the same smile that always appeared when he spoke of his former master. It hurt Marcellus to see it.

'Yes, he tries to pain me, and often succeeds. How can I fault him? He was always a proud man, but it does not take a proud man to rebel against being a slave with no purpose other than to fulfil his master's sexual desires.'

'You have ... taken him ... then?'

'No. I will do no such thing unless he wishes it.'

This information was worse than the thought that Leonard had had his way with Desroches against his will. Leonard still entirely respected his freedom, although Desroches' body would yearn for Leonard's touch.

'I hate to hear that he hurts you. You deserve better.'

'Do I? I have debased my former master so thoroughly. Who is to say, my dear friend, that I would not do the same to you?'

Marcellus laughed. The very idea was absurd. He knew he wouldn't, but perhaps Desroches had once 'known' that too.

'If you did, I would willingly give you everything. I would be proud of belonging to you.'

'Though I would have betrayed you first?'

'Indeed. Though you would betray my principles, you would not betray my love for you. Is that not the reason you did this to Desroches?'

'Yes.' Leonard smiled, and it was entirely different from his smile whenever he thought of Desroches. 'Marcellus, I did not realise you knew that. It seems to me that no one else understands.'

'I didn't at first. But for you, Leonard, I would go to any lengths to understand you. I cherish you thoroughly.'

Leonard gave him a scrutinising look, and for the first time that night, or perhaps since he had become king, or even since their friendship, Marcellus felt and knew that Leonard was looking at him.

'Thank you, Marcellus.' Leonard took his hand and kissed it. It was no more than the reverent kiss of a subject to his sire, but it soothed his agitated heart. 'If you understand that - if you understand me so well - then I must listen to you. There may be something in what you say. Tell me in all honesty - do you think Lord Desroches undeserving of my loyalty?'

'No, Leonard.' Marcellus took his hand again. 'I perfectly understand why you feel so strongly for him. It only pains me to see his ingratitude to you now. And certainly ... your loyalty, he may deserve ... but your love? Perhaps I only say this as your admirer, but I do not think so.'

'I see. I understand. It is true that I do not know whether or not I love him. If he ever asked for my heart, I would willingly give it. It may even be that I wish for him to ask it. But ... I know he will not ask me. Certainly not now that I have done this to him.'

'In that case, why not give your heart to me? I will keep it well,' Marcellus said with his best impression of innocence.

Leonard laughed. 'I will think on it. Thank you, Marcellus.'

'There is no need to thank me. I have only unburdened my heart to you. Only ...' Marcellus pressed his hand. 'Do not let Desroches make you think you are undeserving of all your heart desires. I make no remark on what you have done to him. Simply to me, you are the most worthy and excellent man of my acquaintance, and if there is anything I can do for you, I will do it.'

'Allow me to thank you for that, then.' Leonard finished his drink, then kissed Marcellus on the cheek. It was something far sweeter and more wonderful than the kiss on his hand, and Marcellus felt his chest flutter. 'I beg your leave to retire now.'

'Of course. Thank you for your company, my friend.'

Leonard stood up and bowed. His smile was something new, and completely reserved for his king. 'Until the morning, sire.'