17. leaving the past behind

[badass_tiger]

Comm: fallintofallfestival
Prompt: Any Fandom | Any Pairing | “My roommate had to go into my room and throw the sheets away because I haven’t been able to sleep in that bed since you left.”
Word Count: 1.6k
Author/Team: badass_tiger
Title: leaving the past behind
Fandom/Original: Original (Master, Prisoner)
Rating: Mature
Triggers: Mentions of noncon
Summary: After Desroches' death, Marcellus takes care of Leonard.
ConCrit: Y

After two weeks, Marcellus had had enough. He called for three maids and a footman to Leonard's room where he had the bedsheets, the upholstery, every item he was sure didn't belong to Leonard stripped away and sent to the furnace. He opened the wardrobe and was disgusted to find that most of the few clothes hanging inside belonged to Desroches. Leonard had treated him like a lord, a king, and this was his repayment. He ordered everything be burnt, including Leonard's things. Leonard still used the same cheap suits from his time as Desroches' secretary, and he could stand a wardrobe change. Only when the room was reduced to little more than bare furniture was Marcellus satisfied, and he returned to his room.

As usual, he found Leonard staring listlessly at nothing. At least these days he could be induced to sit on a sofa instead of simply lying in bed, but whenever Marcellus returned from his duties for the day, he would find Leonard in exactly the same place as he had deposited him in the morning.

'I went into your room,' Marcellus said as way of announcing his presence. There was no point in preliminaries such as 'Good evening'. This was the most effective way of immediately gaining his attention. 'I had the servants take away the furnishings and everything except your own belongings to burn them.'

The words took several long seconds to reach Leonard. When they did, he looked up sharply and said, 'What?!'

It was the most animation Marcellus had seen from him in two weeks, or perhaps even longer. Perhaps from the first moment Desroches had begun convincing Leonard to break their bond had Leonard been anxious and unhappy. Marcellus felt a flare of triumph at pulling the response out of him.

'You don't need to return to it until you feel ready,' Marcellus said, 'but I thought it would be all the better for you if it bears you as few reminders of Desroches as possible when you are.'

'You ... you burnt everything? His books, his possessions, everything?'

'Yes.'

Leonard stared at him with a wild look in his eyes, as that of a cornered beast. He looked like he might shout, or cry, or simply run away, but Marcellus was not king for nothing. He looked back calmly, confident that whatever Leonard chose to do next, he would be prepared to react accordingly.

'You shouldn't have,' Leonard said at last, flat as a plain.

'Should I not?'

'Do you wish me to forget him?'

'It may be the better for you if you did. But you will not, and you need no reminders. He has done you enough harm.'

'No. I - I am the one who ... did too much.'

Too late Marcellus realised that he had pushed Leonard too far and he was once again about to dissolve into a fit of self-deprecation. Marcellus flung himself down on his knees in front of him, and pulled him into his arms.

'That's enough, Leonard,' he said, his harsh tone a stark contrast to the tenderness of his embrace. 'If it is true that you have done too much, then you have done enough. Grieve for him as much as you wish, but do not be destroyed by him. Astor Desroches is still dead, yet the living still need you.'

'Marcellus ...' A sob rose in the back of Leonard's throat, and he held onto Marcellus as if looking for respite. 'You once told me you love me. Is that still true?'

'Of course it is. I will love you until the end of time.'

'Do you think me worthy of love even through what I did?'

'I see no sin in what you have done. Have I not told you that if you did the same to me, I would be proud of belonging to you? Did I not say that even if you betrayed my principles, I know you would never betray my love?' Marcellus sat back on his heels and took Leonard's face in his hands, looking into his ice-blue eyes. 'But you have done neither. You swore your loyalty to me as your king and my principles are your principles, are they not? Believe me when I tell you that you have done nothing wrong. I command it of you as your king.'

A long moment of silence passed between them. Tears flowed from Leonard's eyes, but he didn't look away from Marcellus for a second. Then, he held onto Marcellus' arms, heavily.

'I understand,' Leonard said. His voice was low, yet his tone was almost normal - it was the tone he used during business, polite and formal, but normal nonetheless; not the pained, tortured whisper his voice had become since Desroches' death. 'You are quite right, sire. If you say it is so, then it is.'

'Precisely so,' Marcellus said simply, though he waited for Leonard's next response with bated breath.

Leonard's eyes slipped shut. It was a relief for the both of them. Marcellus couldn't bear looking at the hurt in his eyes for another moment.

'Forgive me, Marcellus,' Leonard said. 'I have made things difficult for you.'

Marcellus wanted to assure him that he had not, but it was not the time for him to speak.

'From the beginning of your rule, I have been difficult. I asked you to spare Astor, though I knew there was no way you could have allowed him to live as he was. If I were to keep him alive, the only choice I had was to do so as his master. I knew that he would not accept it, but I - I couldn't accept letting him die!' He sighed and leaned into Marcellus' touch. 'Should - should I have let him be? Should I have accepted that I couldn't have a new master while saving my previous one?'

'I don't know,' Marcellus said honestly.

'Well ... I have no choice now, and I will resist no more. It is time I left the past behind and looked towards the future.'

'Good. I will help you as much as I can.'

Marcellus stood up and gave him his hand. Leonard took it, but before Marcellus could pull him to his feet, turned it around and pressed it to his lips.

'It is,' he said with a sigh that was almost content, 'so clear to me how I could have no choice but to follow you. You understand me perfectly, and your vision of the future is so clear and beautiful. You are the only king I could ever have.'

Perhaps it was wrong for Marcellus' heart to tremble to hear Leonard's words. Perhaps as king, it was wrong to be in love with one of his servants. But Leonard was so much more than a servant. He was sure that Leonard, too, saw him as his equal, and he had nothing to fear. He curled his fingers around Leonard's, tugging at them to make him stand again.

'You, my dear Leonard,' he said, 'are the one person I could never compromise. You must be with me always. Stay in my room permanently if you like. I burnt your old clothes too, as I thought it was time you dressed more appropriately to your station.'

'You what?' Leonard was shocked. 'What am I to wear?'

'New clothes, of course. If we have you measured now, you could have a new suit in the morning.'

'It's rather late. Would you have the servants stay up for my sake? That does not sound like the king I pledged myself to.'

'Well, I have no objection to you going around the palace in your dressing gown tomorrow, if you so wish. I find it quite fetching on you.'

Leonard looked like he was feeling better, and it seemed like the right time. Marcellus leaned forward to capture his lips in a kiss. At first, Leonard moved slightly as if to pull away, but perhaps only in surprise. He pressed back, returning the kiss chastely. Marcellus still didn't know if Leonard had, as Desroches' master, ever claimed him. There was such a great nobility about Leonard that perhaps he never had. It shouldn't matter to Marcellus, and it didn't. He only hoped that Leonard would have no regrets.

'Will you stay here tonight?' Marcellus asked.

'It is good of you to ask, when I have stayed here for the past two weeks completely unasked.'

Marcellus smiled. 'How could I possibly object?'

'Indeed, and how could I reject you when you have always taken such good care of me? I will stay, if you wish. In your bed, if that is what you would like.'

It would be easy to be flippant and make a jesting remark, but Marcellus had waited long enough. He wanted to have something to be sure of, at last.

'Only if that is what you would like,' he said seriously. 'If you lie with me, I will have you, but I do not want you to be with me out of duty or gratitude.'

'Yes, I know.' Leonard intertwined their fingers and Marcellus' heart skipped a beat. 'You once told me that if I were to give you my heart, you would take good care of it. If you are sincere - of which I have no doubt - then I will give you it. I trust you.'

'Thank you.' Marcellus raised their hands to his lips and kissed his fingers. 'You are in good hands ... my dear Leonard.'

Things would not turn out to be as easy as he hoped they would, he knew. But for now, they could move forward into the future together without looking back.