Rufus (
badass_tiger) wrote2021-10-24 10:02 pm
20. worth it
Prompt: any fandom / any pairing / our family won’t approve of our relationship but we have to stick together, until one day you question if the relationship is even worth all this secrecy and i can’t believe that you’d doubt us even for a second
Word Count: 1k
Author/Team:
badass_tiger
Title: worth it
Fandom/Original: Original (Advice for a Third Prince)
Rating: Gen
Triggers: NA
Summary: AU where Altair and Castor begin a relationship in secret. Castor questions if it's enough.
ConCrit: Y
'Is it worth it?'
They were the words that Altair had always dreaded hearing. His rational mind had always whispered to him that he would hear them someday. It was enough of a miracle that a handsome, compassionate, intelligent, young man - and a prince at that - like Castor could ever desire an old man such as Altair. To ask him to carry on a relationship in secrecy with perhaps no hope of ever being open with their relationship even to Castor's brothers, must be too much for one so young.
'Do you ask my opinion, Castor?' Altair said with all of the evenness he didn't feel. 'My time with you is more than I have ever had. At my age, I am grateful to have any companionship, let alone yours.'
'Then are you with me because I'm your only choice for a relationship?'
'Did I say that?' Altair said sharply. Castor flinched, and looked away despondently.
'Do not speak to me like that, Altair,' he said, his voice low.
'Do you find it unpleasant to be spoken to harshly by a servant? I thought you and I were equals in this relationship.'
'I find it unpleasant to be scolded by the person I love,' Castor said, and a tear trembled on each eyelash.
Altair let out a sigh and rubbed his temples, willing himself to calm down.
'Forgive me, Castor. I was upset that you questioned our relationship. I will give you my answer as many times as you ask for it. I love you and I would go to any lengths for you. To my mind, the only purpose of asking that question would be asking yourself.'
'I'm afraid,' Castor admitted, 'that it isn't. That I'll someday think I wasted so much of my youth on a relationship that could never be.'
Altair could make no reply. In some ways, he agreed with Castor. He thought it was a waste for Castor to love him when he could instead love someone who would give him so much more, someone of the same station, of whom his family would approve. But he loved Castor so dearly that he couldn't martyr himself unless Castor asked it of him. As long as Castor didn't push him away, he wanted to remain with him.
Castor turned to him and put out his hand. Altair took it, pressed it to his lips, then drew Castor close in an embrace.
'I will accept whatever answer you give me,' Altair murmured as Castor buried his face in his neck. 'For me, however, the answer is easy. I can tolerate anything for you, and gladly.'
'Forgive my weakness,' Castor said, his voice muffled by Altair's collar.
'No, my love, it is not weakness. There are times when love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship. You are young yet, and indeed, have little to gain from loving someone such as myself. If you were to - to break -' Altair paused and swallowed around the lump that had risen in his throat. The mere thought was unbearable, '- to break off our relationship, I would still love you, and if you ever decided to return to me, then I would love you all the more. So you have nothing to lose from whatever answer you give.'
'And how about you? Do you not have everything to lose if I were to break off our relationship?’
‘Well ... yes, of course. But from the moment you confessed your feelings to me, I decided to devote my life completely to you. I will adhere to any and all of your wishes, no matter the pain they may bring me.’
‘Altair …’ Castor turned his face so that his cheek rested against his lover's chest, his eyes shut. 'I'm truly sorry. It is difficult for me sometimes. I love you so much I want nothing more than to shout it from the rooftops and make it known to everyone around me. I want you to be part of my family so I can devote myself to you without reserve. To always be afraid of being discovered, of being punished if we were, of perhaps even losing you -'
He stopped, unable to go on, and Altair held him tightly.
'Thank you, Castor,' he said softly. 'I am sorry, for I do not know how to comfort you, but your words make me incredibly happy.'
Castor drew back to look at him. 'Despite what you say, you've done well in that aspect.' Then, to Altair's immense relief, Castor smiled. 'This may not be the last time I speak such nonsense, for which I must apologise in advance. I know it's worth it. Being with you is everything, and I am never happier than when I am in your arms. The next time I have these silly doubts ... will you remind me?'
'Over and over again, if that is your wish, my love.'
'It is.' Castor took his face in his hands and pressed their lips together.
Kissing Castor was always so wonderful. Even many months into their relationship, he was shy and tentative, asking for permission with slight touches of the tongue. Only when Altair would let his lips part, though ever so slightly, would Castor press deeper, then he would lose himself in the sensation, pressing deeper until Altair was sometimes backed against the wall or chair, doing his best to keep up with his young lover's fervour.
'I love you, Altair,' Castor said when he pulled away. Altair brushed a thumb against his cheek, giving him a tender look.
'I love you too, Castor. If I could, I would bring you all of the stars in the sky, and they wouldn't suffice to describe my love for you.'
Castor leaned into his touch, and for one more night, it was enough that they had one another.
Word Count: 1k
Author/Team:
Title: worth it
Fandom/Original: Original (Advice for a Third Prince)
Rating: Gen
Triggers: NA
Summary: AU where Altair and Castor begin a relationship in secret. Castor questions if it's enough.
ConCrit: Y
'Is it worth it?'
They were the words that Altair had always dreaded hearing. His rational mind had always whispered to him that he would hear them someday. It was enough of a miracle that a handsome, compassionate, intelligent, young man - and a prince at that - like Castor could ever desire an old man such as Altair. To ask him to carry on a relationship in secrecy with perhaps no hope of ever being open with their relationship even to Castor's brothers, must be too much for one so young.
'Do you ask my opinion, Castor?' Altair said with all of the evenness he didn't feel. 'My time with you is more than I have ever had. At my age, I am grateful to have any companionship, let alone yours.'
'Then are you with me because I'm your only choice for a relationship?'
'Did I say that?' Altair said sharply. Castor flinched, and looked away despondently.
'Do not speak to me like that, Altair,' he said, his voice low.
'Do you find it unpleasant to be spoken to harshly by a servant? I thought you and I were equals in this relationship.'
'I find it unpleasant to be scolded by the person I love,' Castor said, and a tear trembled on each eyelash.
Altair let out a sigh and rubbed his temples, willing himself to calm down.
'Forgive me, Castor. I was upset that you questioned our relationship. I will give you my answer as many times as you ask for it. I love you and I would go to any lengths for you. To my mind, the only purpose of asking that question would be asking yourself.'
'I'm afraid,' Castor admitted, 'that it isn't. That I'll someday think I wasted so much of my youth on a relationship that could never be.'
Altair could make no reply. In some ways, he agreed with Castor. He thought it was a waste for Castor to love him when he could instead love someone who would give him so much more, someone of the same station, of whom his family would approve. But he loved Castor so dearly that he couldn't martyr himself unless Castor asked it of him. As long as Castor didn't push him away, he wanted to remain with him.
Castor turned to him and put out his hand. Altair took it, pressed it to his lips, then drew Castor close in an embrace.
'I will accept whatever answer you give me,' Altair murmured as Castor buried his face in his neck. 'For me, however, the answer is easy. I can tolerate anything for you, and gladly.'
'Forgive my weakness,' Castor said, his voice muffled by Altair's collar.
'No, my love, it is not weakness. There are times when love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship. You are young yet, and indeed, have little to gain from loving someone such as myself. If you were to - to break -' Altair paused and swallowed around the lump that had risen in his throat. The mere thought was unbearable, '- to break off our relationship, I would still love you, and if you ever decided to return to me, then I would love you all the more. So you have nothing to lose from whatever answer you give.'
'And how about you? Do you not have everything to lose if I were to break off our relationship?’
‘Well ... yes, of course. But from the moment you confessed your feelings to me, I decided to devote my life completely to you. I will adhere to any and all of your wishes, no matter the pain they may bring me.’
‘Altair …’ Castor turned his face so that his cheek rested against his lover's chest, his eyes shut. 'I'm truly sorry. It is difficult for me sometimes. I love you so much I want nothing more than to shout it from the rooftops and make it known to everyone around me. I want you to be part of my family so I can devote myself to you without reserve. To always be afraid of being discovered, of being punished if we were, of perhaps even losing you -'
He stopped, unable to go on, and Altair held him tightly.
'Thank you, Castor,' he said softly. 'I am sorry, for I do not know how to comfort you, but your words make me incredibly happy.'
Castor drew back to look at him. 'Despite what you say, you've done well in that aspect.' Then, to Altair's immense relief, Castor smiled. 'This may not be the last time I speak such nonsense, for which I must apologise in advance. I know it's worth it. Being with you is everything, and I am never happier than when I am in your arms. The next time I have these silly doubts ... will you remind me?'
'Over and over again, if that is your wish, my love.'
'It is.' Castor took his face in his hands and pressed their lips together.
Kissing Castor was always so wonderful. Even many months into their relationship, he was shy and tentative, asking for permission with slight touches of the tongue. Only when Altair would let his lips part, though ever so slightly, would Castor press deeper, then he would lose himself in the sensation, pressing deeper until Altair was sometimes backed against the wall or chair, doing his best to keep up with his young lover's fervour.
'I love you, Altair,' Castor said when he pulled away. Altair brushed a thumb against his cheek, giving him a tender look.
'I love you too, Castor. If I could, I would bring you all of the stars in the sky, and they wouldn't suffice to describe my love for you.'
Castor leaned into his touch, and for one more night, it was enough that they had one another.
